Looks like Jack Frost is trying to spoil Christmas this year. Winter storms = not making it to my parents' house for the holidays for the first time ever.
A note of congratulations and thanks to all those who have gone through the perilous and trying steps of bearing progeny. :)
I considered sending my mother this card (in addition to the real one that left glitter all over my work desk). I'm fairly confident in saying now, however, that I am no longer the favorite (a position I held by bitter unanimous acknowledgment from all three of my siblings, despite dissent from my our maternal benefactor, for most of three decades). I relinquish the title with no ill will; bestowing the coveted "grandparents" title has certainly earned my brother the position. (My mother will, of course, post her assertion that she loves all of her children equally, a phrase I heard Lisa use in relation to her own children just a few days ago; I think mothers must be genetically programmed with that response.) ;)
Given the above, I sent her this card instead. I'm still King of the Lab when it comes to gizmos in the Cooper family. :)
Seriously, though, Happy Mother's Day to my mother, my grandmothers and all the other mothers out there. Enjoy your day. :)
Happy No Pants Day. :) I have the day off, so I'm afraid I won't be able to propagate this meme through the firm (although I have this vague suspicion that it wouldn't be well-received . . .).
I gave my notice today. Things just weren't working out at work, between the random drug testing and them actually wanting me to do work. I know the economy is slow, but I'm sure it's not nearly as bad as the media makes it out to be. I expect I'll find a higher-paying job within a couple of weeks. Maybe in banking or real estate. Until then I can live off my 401(k) and my credit cards. If anyone knows of any jobs available that pay more than 70k (preferably with a company car), let me know.
And if that wasn't transparent enough, happy April Fools' Day. :)
- I was late for supper on Christmas Eve. By an hour-and-a-half. Whoops.
- The expected niece is no longer "Katelynn." Apparently my brother disliked the nickname "Katie," so he made up "Kelbi." I asked what everyone else was buying her, and apparently .22 rifles and camouflage dresses are actually on the list. The family laughed as a whole when I asked if I'd be the only person buying her books, so I'm taking that as a "yes."
- The Christmas haul was excessive, but at least I didn't have to figure out how to fit four folding chairs into my car this year. Favorite gift? My mother hand-wrote every single one of her recipes into recipe books. Four times. So we'd each get an original. Apparently it was her "a few hours a night while watching tv" project for several weeks.
- I scandalized my family with my artistic nudity portfolio. The majority of the crowd at my grandmother's on Christmas Day thumbed through it. People said they liked it. I think some of them were just being polite because I was standing there, but a couple of my cousins asked for the link to see the rest of the portfolio. Most of my immediate family passed; I think it's weird for them.
- The Chili's in Scottsbluff needs to have its salt privileges taken away. I've discovered that excessive sodium can lead to headaches.
- I toured the farm house of my sister and her husband for the first time. It's within sight of Chimney Rock, which is cool.
- Haley nearly won the Trivial Pursuit game we played at Linde's house (losing by one pie to Linde), despite boldly stating that our neighbor to the north is "Canadia" and London is in France. I earned the "geek award of the night" for knowing the definition of the word "prehensile."
- Haley took me out to an abandoned farm homestead in the Sand Hills to take photos (which are still on the camera). It was a great outing, except for the 8-degree wind chill and the fact we both walked through a cactus patch.
- I visited with my father's parents for a few hours. They're holding up for being in their mid-eighties, but they can't hear each other talk so I nearly ended up with vertigo from trying to carry on two conversations at once.
- I brought magic berry pills for my family. My brother was adamant about not participating, but once I talked him into it he ate most of a lime by himself and asked where to order the pills.
- One of my aunts pulled a used sword scabbard out of a junk pile somewhere and gave it to me for my sword collection. My brother looked at it and, referencing the sword I gave him as a graduation present years ago, said "My sword is *way* too big to fit in that. Mine is huge." I asked him if that was a euphemism, which earned me a blank look and a "what?" in response, accompanied by stifled laughter from the rest of the dinner table.
- Quote from an unnamed family member: "You can't use the shower yet. I have to get my crescent rolls out of the dryer first." (They were, in fact, in the dryer, using the heat from the last laundry cycle to make them rise faster.)
- The trip back was uneventful. I averaged an astounding 47 mpg (unheard of for a 10-year-old non-hybrid car) through careful hypermiling and new tires. I verified (by not stopping for gas) that I can make the entire trip from Oshkosh to Omaha (about 375 miles) on just under 3/4 of a tank (as long as I don't mind a nearly 7-hour drive).
To all mothers in general, but specifically to mine. :) It's raining where she is (and to here tell they're having 24-degree lows, in May . . .), so the day itself might be a little dreary, but hopefully she enjoys the concept of the day. :) Love ya, mom.
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Tuesday, April 1
A New Leaf
Even a casual perusal of my blog will touch upon my secular preferences, although I think I've done an admirable job of being the antithesis of the "militant atheist" so often denigrated in the common memetic circles.
As of late, however, I've really felt that something was missing. Something beyond physical stasis, perhaps some form of consensus reality where the dreams and beliefs of humanity shape existence. I dunno. In any case, I've decided to give Scientology a go; I remember that "exploding volcano" commercial for Dianetics when I was a kid and it's always seemed to have some commonsense appeal to it. I've looked for an Omaha chapter of the Church of Scientology without much luck (just some links to a defunct chapter), so I've had to sign up via the Internet. But the introductory packets arrived last week, so I should have some interesting homework for awhile.
And just in case you're still reading and are very confused, Happy April Fool's Day. :)
Happy St. Patty's Day, one and all. Not being Irish or having any fondness for fermented barley, this holiday doesn't have the impact that, say, Halloween does, but I did remember my green shirt. It's perhaps a throwback to grade school and its silly "pinching" rules (and the associated cheaters who insisted that the some part of their braces or the socks under their shoes counted). Although it seems unlikely any attorney will yell "No green!" and pinch me in the elevator.
I'm happy to see a handful of groups are capitalizing on the "green" aspect of the holiday to promote green technologies. I "celebrated" a week early by buying about $40 of compact fluorescent light bulbs last week and replacing every incandescent bulb in my house (save one three-way bulb that won't accept a standard CFL). I even ordered dimmable ones for my dining room.
On my way in to work today I passed the Scottish Rite Masonic Center (as I always do, although simply because my route takes me that way, not because I'm keeping tabs on the Masons or anything). The Center always has a large sign out front with its name on it (the Center's, not the sign's). Today, they've also tacked a sheet over it to announce a corned beef dinner something-or-other. Except the sheet doesn't fully cover the sign, leaving the "S" from "Scottish" on the left, leading to an amusing advertisement for "Scorned beef."
Weekend highlights: Meghan's dance performance at the Shark Club was good (in performance and turnout), which slightly made up for her overabundance of stress (apparently cab companies in Omaha can't be bothered to help find lost keys). The twins were happy to see me (Kylie moreso because I was carrying an umbrella she could play with). I ordered my copy of CS3 (Design Premium rather than Web Premium, as I'd originally planned; I've never had much interest in hard-copy publishing, the purview of the major difference between the two, but I've recently discovered a company that will make actual hard copy books of my photos, so I guess it's time to learn InDesign). My left eyelid is *still* twitching (grrrr).
Hope everyone is having a great St. Patty's Day. :)
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Thursday, February 14
Happy Valentine's Day!
Or Anti-Valentine's Day. Or Zombie Pigeon Day. However you like to celebrate it.
Apologies to all my (hopefully still) friends for being absent lately. I'm finally caught up on the house renovations (except for some tiling, anyway) and I should be online more . . . starting next week. My family is in town for the state wrestling tournament, so I have hosting duties until Sunday.
The wedding itself went well. The rehearsal was, literally, 20 minutes long (we had no music, so there were many instances of "okay, at this point song 'X' will play for 3 minutes"). The rehearsal dinner (a term that has always confused me, since it seems to me that it should be the "after-rehearsal dinner," unless you're rehearsing to eat the wedding reception dinner) was very low key, punctuated only by Linde and Justin unwrapping their early wedding presents (boxer shorts and lingerie for the honeymoon).
Wedding day was very cold. The bride's family and her half of the party arrived early to start pictures (and were very patient while I retook a *lot* of photos). Due to some non-wedding pictures that were sprung on me (one of which included finding and arranging all 13 grandkids from my mother's side of the family), I was still doing photos when the guests started to arrive and missed most of the "getting the bride ready" candids that the photographer is supposed to catch. I suppose one advantage to having family do the photography is the option to "sneak in" non-wedding photos when the extended family all happens to be there.
The ceremony itself went off without a hitch (or with one hitch, I guess, although it was planned). It was the first time I'd seen my father in a tuxedo, which was interesting. I shot the entire ceremony itself without a flash using my fastest lens set to maximum ISO, so the pictures aren't blurry, but they're horribly grainy at full size. I think they're still decent for smaller prints, but I wouldn't be making 20x30 posters from them. All told, I took just shy of 400 photos at the church. The couple did in fact get married, and everyone thought it was a nice ceremony.
Between the church and the reception the bridesmaids "kidnapped" the groom; I was informed beforehand solely for the purpose of catching this shot as they exited the vehicle at the reception. Following the dinner was my slide show (I'll have a video version up eventually); it was well-received, especially my Photoshopped version of "American Gothic." I also decided to forgo the Sharpie revenge I had proposed as punishment for Haley's earlier coin assault on me, and instead added one extra photo to the slide show, a photo that earned me a laugh from 300 people and a yelled threat from Haley halfway across the auditorium (I later proposed that we were even, terms Haley initially rejected in favor of "it's so on now!", although she later relented, possibly after realizing how many other photos of her I have . . .).
The dance went well and Linde had a very good time. The only points of note were Haley's discovery that dancing with a wine glass in your hand can lead to fairly nasty cuts when someone crashes into you (necessitating assistance from her father and/or brothers to clean and rebandage the inch-long gash several times a day for the next four days) and the rather unfortunate arrival of one far-from-sober aunt who managed to fire off expletives at a variety of family members for only a few minutes before my brother and one of my uncles more or less carried her out of the auditorium and escorted her home.
The bride and groom braved icy roads on Christmas Day in return for cheap airfare to Las Vegas for the honeymoon (where "The Nutcracker" was on the agenda, although I haven't heard from them since I returned to Omaha, so I no information on how the honeymoon went).
All in all the wedding went surprisingly smoothly, and everyone enjoyed it. Congratulations, Linde and Justin. :)
My journey from the arctic wastelands of the west to the slightly less-arctic wastelands of the east was a perilous quest of beauty and wonder, certainly worthy of a Tolkien ballad or an ABC after-school special.
The majestic sight of Orion rose before me for nearly an hour, giving the impression that the Interstate was driving directly into the mighty hero's belt. Not long after, a lumpy, potato-shaped but brilliantly orange moon laboriously climbed above the horizon, at first mistaken for a truck stop sign or billboard thanks to its unusual color.
Around Kearney, the journey became more surreal, wrapped, as it was, in what the radio called "freezing fog." This, as I soon learned, meant that the thick, tendril-like fog (cloaking the Interstate so closely that in places only the white lines on the concrete were visible in the headlights and in others forming an "artificial ceiling" a scant thirty feet above the ground from which light reflected) condensed into a thick frost on any surface it touched. For vehicles traveling through it, that meant the hood, windshield and front fenders (leaving the doors and trunk of every car untouched). The fog stayed with me, clearing in patches only to return again, all the way to my house.
On the bright side, I averaged close to 48 mpg on this trip. Not bad for a non-hybrid.
Halloween was enjoyed in fine fashion at Lane's house this year, starting with a visit to Vala's Pumpkin Patch. There, amidst the throngs of revelers, we roasted hot dogs (and, in Lane's case, intentionally charred a handful of marshmallows), rode the ponies, took a hayrack ride, picked out pumpkins and explored the animatronic storybook displays. The twins bonded with the petting zoo animals, and Lane spent some time with the llamas. Vala's sold handfuls of food for the animals (small green pellets that may well have been Soylent Green) in vending machines (a quarter gets you a scant handful, so I'm sure they're making a profit there), although endless streams of toddlers had already dropped so many of the pellets on the ground near the pens that buying them seemed almost pointless (I kept a near-continuous pile in my hand for the twins to plunder just by mining the ground in front of me).
Halloween itself led to quite the haul at the household, with a mountainous pile of simple sugars in colorful wrappers festooning the table under Lane's watchful eye. The twins were more interested in the trick-or-treat bags themselves, although they earned their own stashes in their skeleton costumes (stashes they're not going to get to keep, but they're still in the out-of-sight, out-of-mind stage so they're not likely to notice). The highlight of the evening came near the twins' bedtime, when a straggling group of late trick-or-treaters came to the door, one in an especially scary mask. Kylie was unconcerned, but Alec took off like a shot, wailing as she ran into the kitchen, insisted on being picked up, then insisted on being put back *down* on the other side of the baby gate that separates the kitchen from the family room, then ran to the far corner of the family room (the most distant point in the house from the front door, indicating that her spatial geometry skills function perfectly well when she's terrified), pushed an end table away from the wall and cowered behind it. She refused to come out (even when I offered to hold her), until I built her a "cave" by putting a blanket over the space between the couch and a lounger. She sprinted from the corner to the cave and sat on my lap for the next fifteen minutes, whimpering. It took Lisa to coax her out, under protest.
This led to the following observation I made to Scott: "Now we know which of your kids is going to survive the zombie apocalypse. Lane: 'Whoa, a zombie! Cool!' *bite* Kylie: 'Hi, zombie!' *bite* Alec: 'Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!' *running until she's in the next county'"
(For those concerned, Alec was perfectly fine the next morning.)
"Tis now the very witching time of night, When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood, And do such bitter business as the day Would quake to look on."
My first Halloween party actually came to fruition this year. After a day of decorating and baking (spiderwebs and jack-o-lanterns and skull-shaped candles, oh my!), we started the party a little after 7 p.m. A total of six guests were entreated to my performance of "The Raven" (complete with a little raven decoration), which I'd spent the drives to and from work for the last month or so memorizing, and then we played the "Death of a Vampire" murder mystery, which, unfortunately, was a little lacking (the game was far too short, the clues too vague and the amount of participation per character too little). Everyone had a "wait, that's it?" expression when I announced it was time (40 minutes in to what was supposed to be an hour-and-a-half game) to guess the killer, and the "every character has motive; just guess" situation led to no one guessing the right killer. In the future I may have to look at different game publishers, or find one that is more in-depth.
Jamie wins the "Most Into Her Character" award for being the only player to maintain accent and roleplaying throughout the entire game (go Jamie!).
We spent the remaining hour I'd assumed the game would take just chatting and enjoying the snacks my mother and sister had made. Everyone laughed when I announced that my overzealousness with the dry ice (in retrospect, two pounds in a punch bowl might be too much) led to the punch freezing solid (whoops). We also did an impromptu tour of the house improvements I've done in the last few weeks.
I think everyone had a good time. I guess the real trick will be to see who volunteers the next time I host one. ;)
Landscaping plans have been put on hold for the moment, mostly due to the unseasonable (and really bloody cold) weather. My parents have snow, though, so I'll take "cold but dry."
After supposedly having the weekend free, I ended up working almost 8 hours on Saturday; as annoying as that should be, the fact is it's too cold to do anything outside and I have purchases in the near future that could use the paycheck boost, so I'm fairly complacent. I rewarded myself afterward with assorted purchases from Kohl's and Target (nothing exciting, I'm afraid, unless $4 shirts on clearance get your blood pumping), and then spent the rest of the evening at Borders polluting my mind with Maureen Dowd in a corner of the cafe (which apparently is not the book of choice to use as a lure for liberal women, or else there just aren't any in the area). I bought a copy of "Princess Mononoke" on my way out; as a great fan of Hayao Miyazaki's work, it seemed only fitting (although I have to say I was not nearly as impressed as I was with "Spirited Away"). I also discovered the OperaBabes, who would appear to fit a very narrow audience (people who like opera but don't take it seriously enough to be offended by techno percussion). Their rendition of "Carmina Burana" is good, but it's probably no surprise I skipped buying the entire album and instead bought three individual tracks on iTunes.
I celebrated Easter (if you can even call it that, given my non-Easterian tendencies and the fact that I completely forgot it was Easter weekend until I received a gift box from my mother) by sleeping in and spending the rest of the day on my couch in my pajamas killing zombies on the GameCube (I'm waiting for Lane to begin her quest for revenge over my prank by giggling, perhaps even maniacally giggling, at me for practically ripping the controller out of the console when two zombie dogs jumped through a stained glass window and scared the hell out of me).
And the three things I learned this weekend:
(1) There is no character named "Princess Mononoke" in said movie. "Mononoke" is a Japanese word for "angry spirit" and was used as such in the original Japanese version, but for some reason, even though they translated everything else, the team that did the English translation left just that word in the original Japanese. The name of the "princess" in the movie is "San."
(2) The Zio's on Dodge isn't nearly as good as the Zio's in the Old Market.
(3) The design for the internal mechanisms of the toilet in my main floor bathroom isn't used anymore. Mostly because to replace the worn out seals that are making my toilet run every hour or so requires you to remove the tank. Now the question is how long can I stand listening to it run before I go through the headache of ordering the special replacement parts, draining all the water, disassembling it, replacing the parts and reassembling it (and crossing my fingers that it still works)? All the modern ones pop off from the inside of the tank without any tools so I was thinking it would be a trip to Lowe's and 5 minutes of work, but then again I thought my two-day washer/dryer adventure was going to be three hours. I'm not sure if my house doesn't like me or if this is it's way of being affectionate . . .
In any case, I hope everyone had a great weekend. :)
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Tuesday, April 3
Spring *Almost* Sprang
But now it's cold again. Silly winter.
Before that, however, we had a nice weekend. Except for Saturday, which rained me out of working on my yard, so I spent 5 hours at work preparing a report that's due tomorrow. There's excitement for you.
Sunday I spent babysitting. I took the twins to the local miniature-hedge-maze park (waist-high to me but perfect for them), where they contented themselves for a few hours. Then I pulled a rather sneaky April Fools Day prank on Lane. For those "Princess Bride" fans, Lisa and I have dubbed this "the sound of ultimate suffering." Someday she'll start pranking me back and then I'll probably regret this. (I swear though, Lane, if I ever come home and my iMac is encased in Jell-O, you're going to be in big trouble . . .)
Linde, for those curious, is doing well. She sent me a picture yesterday I affectionately dubbed the "Night of the Living Dead" photo. She sent me one today that's *much* better (just a faint red line on her face). :)
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Wednesday, February 14
Happy Valentine's Day. :)
It's uncharacteristically busy for me. The -3 weather and snow shoveling aside, my dad and my brother are arriving today for a short visit (officially to watch my cousin Cabe at the state wrestling tournament, but nominally to work on the wiring in my house, as well). This is the first time they've visited since they helped me move into my house and repaired my garage, so I imagine my house will look somewhat different.
In other family news, congratulations to Haley for winning a full-tuition scholarship. I know she's pretty tickled (and my parents moreso, in all likelihood).
I also compiled a video of the twins from last weekend. (If you have a high-speed connection and feel like waiting, you can download the higher-res version, but be warned it's 30mb.) If you watch all the way to the end you get to see Kyle's happy dance.
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Friday, December 29
Very Merry X-Mas
Because Haley likes them so much, I present another video compilation, showing a glimpse of my holiday. And by popular demand, the full-size version of the snowball clip. (I also have a very large version of the compilation that I'll give out on request, but it's like 26mb).
I'm back from Christmas, and it went much better than I had anticipated (assorted kinks, of course, but all in all pleasant). I have more pictures to touch up and post (and a longer entry to write), but I wanted to get the first batch out so my mom can snag them for prints.
Although hardly a revelation to certain people, I've been out of sorts lately. I don't think "combative" is the right term, but perhaps the shoe labelled "less understanding" would fit; I've been told what I call an "argument" is to most people a "squabble," but the fact remains that I've been in three of them lately, a bellwether of my recent petulance. To put it in better context, one of them was with Lisa. Lisa, the person with whom I have not seriously argued in 8 years. Over, of all things, a newspaper article of no importance to either of us. Said arguments have not been an active pursuit on my part, but rather an uncharacteristic unwillingness to be sympathetic when challenged (and all other abandoned traits aside, I certainly inherited the stubbornness that characterizes so many of my family). In any case, I've apologized in person and offered recognition of my childishness, and submit this as a public apology to anyone else with whom I've been short.
My mood didn't go unpredicted. I can't go so far as to lay claim to phrases like "I hate Christmas" or "holidays suck," but those of the inner circle are well-aware that this is not my favorite time of the year. Lisa expects the malaise like clockwork, although it has seemed in recent years to be cumulative rather than episodic, something I admit concerns me. Christmas lost any religious significance to me a decade ago, and quite honestly that aspect doesn't even register with me except when chastised for using "holidays" instead of "Christmas" (as has been done once this week), so I'll admit up front I don't have any serious attachment to these holidays. But on top of that, I think there is a handful of ingredients that bake up into the Fruitcake of Despondency(tm).
The first ingredient requires a mild disclaimer. If you feel the holiday spirit, I'm happy for you. :) This isn't meant to bring you down and don't take it as criticism. I hope to be there someday. For the time being, though, I find myself increasingly annoyed at the commercialization that seems to paradoxically bring out the worst in people in what is supposed to be the brightest season. Irritability and short tempers draped on shoppers looking for $600 gaming systems for 10-year-olds who equate Christmas with "I want it and if I don't get it I'm going to pout." For that matter, the whole idea that a 10-year-old needs a $600 gaming system more than he needs a $200 gaming system and $400 to give to a coat drive for underprivileged children. The perception that asking someone exactly what they want, going out and buying it and giving it to them somehow shows thoughtfulness, when in reality it's merely the fastest way to comply with a social expectation. The universal condemnation of anyone who points out that a great many people treat Christmas shopping as an unpleasant chore rather than a free act of love. (Cris and I had it out over this topic last week; I concede I may tilt toward "grinch" due to my mood, but really, I can't help but see the web of obligation and commercial pressure that underlies what should be a celebration of sharing and togetherness. In all seriousness, I'd be thrilled if my Christmas consisted of a peaceful dinner and an exchange of cards showing which charities we donated to in each other's names.)
The second major stressor for me is the fact that, though I dearly love my family, I am woefully unprepared to spend time with them en masse, a consequence of being out of sync with them (case in point, I'm used as the "it could be worse" example when someone is disapproving of someone else in the family; e.g., "Well, it could be worse. At least he's not an atheist/liberal/pavement head* like Jay."). There is a, shall we say, tendency toward displaying affection through criticism, amplified by the pack mentality, that is incompatible with me. I make an effort not to be overtly displeased about it, and in fact usually graciously decline to participate rather than take the bait, out of deference to family peace, but it's emotionally taxing nonetheless.
The final stressor, familiar to anyone single through the holidays, has its own shelf in the "self-help" section of the bookstore. I suppose (and in fact hope) that a few more attachments around this time of the year will eventually change my mood about it. Although I'm still not buying my kids a $600 gaming system.
------------------ *"Pavement head," for those curious, is my brother's term of faux affection, a not-so-subtle reference to the fact that I have defected from my agrarian heritage to the great land of street lights and parking lots. It's usually accompanied with something of a chortle.
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Friday, December 15
Season's Greetings
Lisa had me splash together some separate photos into a single entity for her Christmas cards (because, really, convincing Nick and two toddlers to cooperate for a picture is just slightly less difficult than licking your elbow). Despite portraying what many people would find to be an accurate representation of the mixture of emotions prevalent in the season, she passed on this picture and instead chose this one.
This is impressive. How long before you can do this, Tim?
I caught up with the entire season of "The Office" last night. In retrospect, staying up until 6 a.m. to watch them all was probably a bad idea, but it's like crack. Or Count Chocula. Which is like less unhealthy crack.
The "Angela" character on the show reminded me of a woman I overheard in conversation at a restaurant on Sunday night (yes, I eavesdropped; shame on me). The "So, tell me about your life" questions implied a first date of some sort, one brought crashing down by a violation of one of the cardinal first date rules: no talking politics or religion. A mutual disdain for atheists (yes, how ironic that I was sitting right behind them) started them on the right foot, but theological differences proved a pitfall. I can honestly say this was the first time I'd heard, in person, someone use the sentence "Do you know what it is that bothers me about people like you?" (If you're curious, what bothers her is people who don't go to the same church every weekend, because they're not submitting themselves to an established authority and thus are going to Hell. It's all about the membership card, you know.) I'd wager my as-of-yet-theoretical Christmas bonus that Date Number Two failed to transubstantiate.
I have heat! It's not entirely finished (some venting lines to permanently attach and a new programmable thermostat to install), but there is, in fact, a brand new piece of machinery standing defiant where the petulant scrap heap previously squatted. Still, that old furnace had a hell of a lifespan; if the inspection tag that was tied to it is to be believed, it was over 40 years old, double its projected life. I'll have pictures up later to amuse people with its quaint construction (it didn't burn buffalo chips or anything, but the filter system should be good for a laugh).
The Christmas presents I ordered in October have been back ordered again. My family may be getting little boxes saying "Quantum Christmas Present: Until opened you both have and do not have a gift. Open at your own peril!" I see Target is carrying the gifts I ordered now, and I could cancel the online order, but because I got a promotional discount on each gift it would cost me almost $100 more to buy them in the store. I'm really not that attached to the whole "December 25th deadline" thing. Besides, if I'm going to spend $100 on something, I have other things picked out, like a really cool towel rack or a voice-activated R2 unit, or, given the "responsible adult" image I'm expected to maintain, a furnace.
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Thursday, November 23
Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope everyone has a fabulous one. Safe driving and mashed potatoes all around, really.
In the spirit of family togetherness, I thought I'd post a snippet of a telephone conversation I had earlier this week with my grandmother. I'm sure Linde will love this one.
Her: Hello? Me: Hi, grandma. It's your favorite grandson. Her: Oh, Levi, it's good to hear from you! Me: Um, no, the other one. *pause* Me: Jay. Her: Oh, Jay, it's good to hear from you!
In her defense, I was on my Bluetooth headset, and it's a little echo-y. But I still found it amusing.
Continuing in the fine tradition of good uncles incorporating science into their fun, I provided the twins and Nick with their own examples of chemical luminescence. The glowy thingies were a big hit.
Lane's current online fascination (eventually to be replaced by the raw euphoria that accompanies "Spore") is The Sims 2, which for those of you unaccustomed to simulation games puts you in control of a family of virtual people. The Sim (virtual person) you're currently controlling is denoted by a glowing green diamond that hovers above his/her head. Project: SIMple Plan was submitted to Department J for processing, and we got to work from there.
First step, gather materials. Lane and I made a foray to the store with the twins in tow (actually pushed in front) and purchased about $30 of raw materials. Back in the workshop, I first tried to attach the cones together with spray adhesive, which proved far too weak, so I resorted to epoxy (which is far stronger than the styrofoam it's attached to, so it's not going anywhere). Then came a few coats of acrylic paint and a layer of glow-in-the-dark spray paint garnered from eBay. I made the mistake of using the spray paint in my workshop; the fact that the paint glowed gave me a first-hand demonstration of how far spray paint actually travels, which is about twice as far as I expected (if I use a flashlight to "charge" it I can get the floor and shelves along one wall to glow now, and the bottoms of my shoes were glowing for awhile).
Then I hit the first snag. According to the can, this glowing paint was supposed to carry a "charge" for 8 hours. Not even close. And since it was charged by light, the fact that light didn't hit it evenly all the time meant it ended up with darker and lighter splotches on the surface. So I set up a "charging booth" using my photography lights to try to charge it evenly.
Unfortunately, this led to the *second* snag. I left the diamond to "charge" for 15 minutes while I ran back upstairs, only to return to find the basement smelling of burnt styrofoam and the diamond lying against one of the lamps with a baseball-sized hole melted into the side of it. Now, I'm not given to profanity on a daily basis, but I do have to admit there was a period of swearing immediately following this discovery (Cris can attest to this).
After labeling this first failure v1.0, I returned to the store for new components, and discarded the glowing paint idea. Instead, I decided to affix glowsticks to the sides of the diamond, preferably set into the styrofoam itself. After wandering around the basement for 10 minutes looking for the best way to do this, I found a piece of copper tubing from a previous lightsaber-building project in a box on a shelf and discovered it was *just* larger than the glowsticks. I retired to the kitchen, where I heated the pipe in one of the burners on the stove and used it to cut channels into the styrofoam. The process was slick; I only wish I had a hand free to take a photo of it. The pipe actually sliced out spherical tubes of undamaged styrofoam with almost no effort. I cut three into each cone (along premeasured lines; no random guessing). Then came two coats of acrylic paint in a Lane-approved color for each before epoxying them together. In the meantime, I drilled a hole through the headband and epoxied one of the aluminum knitting needles (which I just happened to see in the craft section while looking for the cones) into place. Finally, I affixed rubber bands to the headband to give it more "grip" and set the diamond in place onto the needle.
Fast-forward to Halloween, where Lane and I did some impromptu rigging on the costume to get it to work. First we activated all of the glowsticks. Then we taped them all into their channels in the diamond. Finally we attached some fishing line to the back of the diamond and secured it to the back of her jacket to help stabilize it. And voila, one SimLane. We even tested it in the dark.
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holiday (even if it's frelling cold out).
I also want to congratulate Haley on her volleyball season. I listend to her last two games on streaming Internet radio tonight at work (and even called her between them). Congrats. :)
