A note of congratulations and thanks to all those who have gone through the perilous and trying steps of bearing progeny. :)

I considered sending my mother this card (in addition to the real one that left glitter all over my work desk). I'm fairly confident in saying now, however, that I am no longer the favorite (a position I held by bitter unanimous acknowledgment from all three of my siblings, despite dissent from my our maternal benefactor, for most of three decades). I relinquish the title with no ill will; bestowing the coveted "grandparents" title has certainly earned my brother the position. (My mother will, of course, post her assertion that she loves all of her children equally, a phrase I heard Lisa use in relation to her own children just a few days ago; I think mothers must be genetically programmed with that response.) ;)

Given the above, I sent her this card instead. I'm still King of the Lab when it comes to gizmos in the Cooper family. :)

Seriously, though, Happy Mother's Day to my mother, my grandmothers and all the other mothers out there. Enjoy your day. :)

Labels: holiday, mom

Ah, holidays. We hardly knew thee.

- I was late for supper on Christmas Eve. By an hour-and-a-half. Whoops.

- The expected niece is no longer "Katelynn." Apparently my brother disliked the nickname "Katie," so he made up "Kelbi." I asked what everyone else was buying her, and apparently .22 rifles and camouflage dresses are actually on the list. The family laughed as a whole when I asked if I'd be the only person buying her books, so I'm taking that as a "yes."

- The Christmas haul was excessive, but at least I didn't have to figure out how to fit four folding chairs into my car this year. Favorite gift? My mother hand-wrote every single one of her recipes into recipe books. Four times. So we'd each get an original. Apparently it was her "a few hours a night while watching tv" project for several weeks.

- I scandalized my family with my artistic nudity portfolio. The majority of the crowd at my grandmother's on Christmas Day thumbed through it. People said they liked it. I think some of them were just being polite because I was standing there, but a couple of my cousins asked for the link to see the rest of the portfolio. Most of my immediate family passed; I think it's weird for them.

- The Chili's in Scottsbluff needs to have its salt privileges taken away. I've discovered that excessive sodium can lead to headaches.

- I toured the farm house of my sister and her husband for the first time. It's within sight of Chimney Rock, which is cool.

- Haley nearly won the Trivial Pursuit game we played at Linde's house (losing by one pie to Linde), despite boldly stating that our neighbor to the north is "Canadia" and London is in France. I earned the "geek award of the night" for knowing the definition of the word "prehensile."

- Haley took me out to an abandoned farm homestead in the Sand Hills to take photos (which are still on the camera). It was a great outing, except for the 8-degree wind chill and the fact we both walked through a cactus patch.

- I visited with my father's parents for a few hours. They're holding up for being in their mid-eighties, but they can't hear each other talk so I nearly ended up with vertigo from trying to carry on two conversations at once.

- I brought magic berry pills for my family. My brother was adamant about not participating, but once I talked him into it he ate most of a lime by himself and asked where to order the pills.

- One of my aunts pulled a used sword scabbard out of a junk pile somewhere and gave it to me for my sword collection. My brother looked at it and, referencing the sword I gave him as a graduation present years ago, said "My sword is *way* too big to fit in that. Mine is huge." I asked him if that was a euphemism, which earned me a blank look and a "what?" in response, accompanied by stifled laughter from the rest of the dinner table.

- Quote from an unnamed family member: "You can't use the shower yet. I have to get my crescent rolls out of the dryer first." (They were, in fact, in the dryer, using the heat from the last laundry cycle to make them rise faster.)

- The trip back was uneventful. I averaged an astounding 47 mpg (unheard of for a 10-year-old non-hybrid car) through careful hypermiling and new tires. I verified (by not stopping for gas) that I can make the entire trip from Oshkosh to Omaha (about 375 miles) on just under 3/4 of a tank (as long as I don't mind a nearly 7-hour drive).

I hope everyone had a peaceful and happy holiday.

Labels: family, haley, holiday, jeff, mom

To my dearest (and technically, I suppose, my least-dear, given the linguistic oddities involved in applying quantifying adjectives to singular subjects, although I'm going to stick with "dearest" based on personal preference) mother, who has labored patiently and valiantly for the last three decades to raise a gaggle of challenging children (not me, of course; I'm her favorite). Hopefully she's received some sort of rectangular box from Amazon.com with a small note inside from me, and hopefully she enjoys her day. :) Thanks for everything, mom.

Labels: birthdays, mom

To all mothers in general, but specifically to mine. :) It's raining where she is (and to here tell they're having 24-degree lows, in May . . .), so the day itself might be a little dreary, but hopefully she enjoys the concept of the day. :) Love ya, mom.

Labels: holiday, mom