Ah, holidays. We hardly knew thee.

- I was late for supper on Christmas Eve. By an hour-and-a-half. Whoops.

- The expected niece is no longer "Katelynn." Apparently my brother disliked the nickname "Katie," so he made up "Kelbi." I asked what everyone else was buying her, and apparently .22 rifles and camouflage dresses are actually on the list. The family laughed as a whole when I asked if I'd be the only person buying her books, so I'm taking that as a "yes."

- The Christmas haul was excessive, but at least I didn't have to figure out how to fit four folding chairs into my car this year. Favorite gift? My mother hand-wrote every single one of her recipes into recipe books. Four times. So we'd each get an original. Apparently it was her "a few hours a night while watching tv" project for several weeks.

- I scandalized my family with my artistic nudity portfolio. The majority of the crowd at my grandmother's on Christmas Day thumbed through it. People said they liked it. I think some of them were just being polite because I was standing there, but a couple of my cousins asked for the link to see the rest of the portfolio. Most of my immediate family passed; I think it's weird for them.

- The Chili's in Scottsbluff needs to have its salt privileges taken away. I've discovered that excessive sodium can lead to headaches.

- I toured the farm house of my sister and her husband for the first time. It's within sight of Chimney Rock, which is cool.

- Haley nearly won the Trivial Pursuit game we played at Linde's house (losing by one pie to Linde), despite boldly stating that our neighbor to the north is "Canadia" and London is in France. I earned the "geek award of the night" for knowing the definition of the word "prehensile."

- Haley took me out to an abandoned farm homestead in the Sand Hills to take photos (which are still on the camera). It was a great outing, except for the 8-degree wind chill and the fact we both walked through a cactus patch.

- I visited with my father's parents for a few hours. They're holding up for being in their mid-eighties, but they can't hear each other talk so I nearly ended up with vertigo from trying to carry on two conversations at once.

- I brought magic berry pills for my family. My brother was adamant about not participating, but once I talked him into it he ate most of a lime by himself and asked where to order the pills.

- One of my aunts pulled a used sword scabbard out of a junk pile somewhere and gave it to me for my sword collection. My brother looked at it and, referencing the sword I gave him as a graduation present years ago, said "My sword is *way* too big to fit in that. Mine is huge." I asked him if that was a euphemism, which earned me a blank look and a "what?" in response, accompanied by stifled laughter from the rest of the dinner table.

- Quote from an unnamed family member: "You can't use the shower yet. I have to get my crescent rolls out of the dryer first." (They were, in fact, in the dryer, using the heat from the last laundry cycle to make them rise faster.)

- The trip back was uneventful. I averaged an astounding 47 mpg (unheard of for a 10-year-old non-hybrid car) through careful hypermiling and new tires. I verified (by not stopping for gas) that I can make the entire trip from Oshkosh to Omaha (about 375 miles) on just under 3/4 of a tank (as long as I don't mind a nearly 7-hour drive).

I hope everyone had a peaceful and happy holiday.

Labels: family, haley, holiday, jeff, mom

To Haley, who is no longer a teenager. :)

Labels: birthdays, family, haley

The wild card in my immediate family (referring, of course, to the youngest of my siblings, who was the grand age of 6 when I went to college and thus has always known me as this sort of absent, mysterious figure while I remember only the flashcard-like highlights of her life: Christmases and graduations, for the most part) spent four days with me this week on a frenzied back-to-school shopping spree. Highlights:

- We finally did the climbing wall at Westroads Mall. There is some small degree of contention here about who actually "won." Haley maintains she was higher on the wall and thus won by default, while I point out that I pushed the "finish" button (which plays this little fanfare for the entire store) first (by about half a second) even while climbing a more-difficult course. In any case, I've discovered this is an activity that requires preparation (in the form of an ongoing stretching and cardiovascular regimen); my arms were so sore that I wasn't sure I'd be able to drive afterward. We also watched a little blonde 8-year-old waif kick the wall's ass (holy cow); judging by the way she was discussing the gear with the staff I'm guessing she does it as a hobby.

- We had lunch one afternoon at the not-cheap-even-though-it's-just-melted-cheese-and-bread Melting Pot fondue restaurant at Village Point (Haley's pick). It was good, although neither one of us felt particularly well afterward (perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not).

- Haley officially adopted her new MacBook. I put money toward a shiny green wireless mouse we found at Best Buy as an early birthday present.

- Haley, Meghan and I watched "21" on Sunday evening. Kevin Spacey can be creepy when he wants to be.

- Haley's car wouldn't start on Tuesday as she was preparing to leave. Two phone calls and three Internet searches (plus some fiddling with the battery and assorted other arcane rituals) finally convinced the car it wasn't being stolen and it deactivated its anti-theft system (for now, anyway).

- After Haley's departure, Meghan and I celebrated her birthday with an outdoor concert at Lauritzen Gardens and a heavy dinner at The Olive Garden.

And finally . . .

- The utilities company *finally* finished their repairs and patched up my street (the day after Haley left, of course), so I have full access to my garage again.

Labels: family, haley, meghan

Or Anti-Valentine's Day. Or Zombie Pigeon Day. However you like to celebrate it.

Apologies to all my (hopefully still) friends for being absent lately. I'm finally caught up on the house renovations (except for some tiling, anyway) and I should be online more . . . starting next week. My family is in town for the state wrestling tournament, so I have hosting duties until Sunday.

How is everyone?

Labels: family, holiday

Photos from Linde and Justin's wedding are finally up. Enjoy.

The wedding itself went well. The rehearsal was, literally, 20 minutes long (we had no music, so there were many instances of "okay, at this point song 'X' will play for 3 minutes"). The rehearsal dinner (a term that has always confused me, since it seems to me that it should be the "after-rehearsal dinner," unless you're rehearsing to eat the wedding reception dinner) was very low key, punctuated only by Linde and Justin unwrapping their early wedding presents (boxer shorts and lingerie for the honeymoon).

Wedding day was very cold. The bride's family and her half of the party arrived early to start pictures (and were very patient while I retook a *lot* of photos). Due to some non-wedding pictures that were sprung on me (one of which included finding and arranging all 13 grandkids from my mother's side of the family), I was still doing photos when the guests started to arrive and missed most of the "getting the bride ready" candids that the photographer is supposed to catch. I suppose one advantage to having family do the photography is the option to "sneak in" non-wedding photos when the extended family all happens to be there.

The ceremony itself went off without a hitch (or with one hitch, I guess, although it was planned). It was the first time I'd seen my father in a tuxedo, which was interesting. I shot the entire ceremony itself without a flash using my fastest lens set to maximum ISO, so the pictures aren't blurry, but they're horribly grainy at full size. I think they're still decent for smaller prints, but I wouldn't be making 20x30 posters from them. All told, I took just shy of 400 photos at the church. The couple did in fact get married, and everyone thought it was a nice ceremony.

Between the church and the reception the bridesmaids "kidnapped" the groom; I was informed beforehand solely for the purpose of catching this shot as they exited the vehicle at the reception. Following the dinner was my slide show (I'll have a video version up eventually); it was well-received, especially my Photoshopped version of "American Gothic." I also decided to forgo the Sharpie revenge I had proposed as punishment for Haley's earlier coin assault on me, and instead added one extra photo to the slide show, a photo that earned me a laugh from 300 people and a yelled threat from Haley halfway across the auditorium (I later proposed that we were even, terms Haley initially rejected in favor of "it's so on now!", although she later relented, possibly after realizing how many other photos of her I have . . .).

The dance went well and Linde had a very good time. The only points of note were Haley's discovery that dancing with a wine glass in your hand can lead to fairly nasty cuts when someone crashes into you (necessitating assistance from her father and/or brothers to clean and rebandage the inch-long gash several times a day for the next four days) and the rather unfortunate arrival of one far-from-sober aunt who managed to fire off expletives at a variety of family members for only a few minutes before my brother and one of my uncles more or less carried her out of the auditorium and escorted her home.

The bride and groom braved icy roads on Christmas Day in return for cheap airfare to Las Vegas for the honeymoon (where "The Nutcracker" was on the agenda, although I haven't heard from them since I returned to Omaha, so I no information on how the honeymoon went).

All in all the wedding went surprisingly smoothly, and everyone enjoyed it. Congratulations, Linde and Justin. :)

Labels: family, holiday, linde, photography, western nebraska

I need to type some things out before I'll be able to sleep tonight. It's a rather personal post, so feel free to skip it.

First and foremost, I need to apologize to my mother once again for some semi-excusable-but-still-unthoughtful behavior on my part tonight. I'm sorry my frustrations got the better of me, and I'll endeavor to work on it in the future.

Now to qualify the above remark. Although I imagine it's not an unheard of, or even unusual, aspect of some families, I am continually baffled and frustrated by one particular quirk of my family (both immediate and extended). Through whatever evolution of communication, many members of my family interact with and show affection for each other primarily through unsolicited criticism and teasing. Interestingly, there seems to be a critical mass required; individual family members visiting me in Omaha almost always relax into a friendly, constructive conversational tone, but the dynamic changes when more (sometimes as few as one but more commonly two or more) people are present. Another salient point is that these are criticisms of convenience; no one in my family actually cares that I dislike specific fast food chains for "reason X," but I've been lectured on just such a topic when the mood is right. It seems that certain family members subconsciously look for differences and capitalize on them in order to communicate friendship, with an expectation that a retort will be made and both sides will laugh at their mutual provocation. It's a mindset that has existed in my family for at least two generations (possibly more), and most seem to take it in stride, and in fact thrive under it.

Unfortunately I don't. I've never understood it, and while I've tolerated it for the sake of family peace, I've never been comfortable with it (it causes me a great deal of stress and anxiety). This has been accentuated in recent years as I've moved away and not been routinely subject to this dynamic, making the visits when I am around it stand out more vividly, often catching me off guard even when I consciously expect them. There hasn't been a family gathering within my memory when I haven't gritted my teeth as a variety of relatives have criticized my thinning hair, my lack of demonstrable female companionship, my dislike of hunting, my proper usage of English (yes, I've been criticized for this), my vocabulary, my clothing, my dietary habits, my lack of religion or any of a dozen other insignificant attributes of my lifestyle (and witnessed equally rude commentaries about every other member of the family). I understand they aren't truly being mean, that to them it's a harmless display of camaraderie, and normally I can put up with it for a day in order to appease my mother (who, by the way, is apparently like me and does not participate in the teasing, although she appears to be far more tolerant of it than I am). Sometimes, however, like tonight, things just go wrong. In a true display of pack mentality, I was soundly criticized tonight from three sides of the dinner table for, of all things, the fact that I don't eat red meat (something no one else at the table actually cares about), and my frustration grew as the second person began a new line of criticism while I was still formulating a rational reply to the first person (even though a rational reply was not what was expected; it's difficult to convey in text, but the offered statement was phrased in the form of "That's stupid. You should be like the rest of us.", which does not foment constructive conversation). When a third person laughed that I was overreacting in my defensiveness and just needed to accept the "teasing," I, in an overly emotional moment, withdrew not only from the conversation but from the family in general until I calmed down; unfortunately, this cool-down period overlapped with the family's Christmas present exchange, which caused a great deal of stress on my mother (and for which I am very sorry). It was all very regrettable on all sides.

I have no doubt that this was an incident that was going to happen sooner or later, given the factors (although it would have been better had it happened a night earlier). I also have no doubt that all sides will try to avoid it, and likely will fail, and will be subject to it again at some point in the future. Ingrained behaviors are very difficult to overcome, and this clash in personality types is fairly volatile. For my part, I promise to make a better effort in the future. Wish me luck.

Labels: family

For those I forgot to tell, I'm on vacation. Or a vacation of sorts, anyway, involving a moderate amount of stress and a considerable amount of work. To wit, my sister is embracing the grand concept of matrimony on Saturday, and, in addition to various menial tasks (decorating, moving heavy boxes from point A to point B, etc.), I have been tasked, as the photography/technology proponent of the family, as the photographer and the slide show creator. As I have never photographed a wedding before, I think a certain degree of trepidation is warranted, although the test shots today were decent (not stunning or fantastic, but passable). I have decided to shoot the wedding in RAW format (my first exposure to it), which supposedly has the advantage of being far more malleable in the processing stage but has the drawbacks of taking up roughly 3 times as much space (my 4gb card will now hold only 350 pictures instead of 1,100) and not being friendly on any computer without a RAW converter (including my parents'). Wish me luck.

The proceedings to this point have been remarkably light, with no major catastrophes and no frayed nerves. The rehearsal was very short, the rehearsal dinner was light-hearted and the preparations have been on schedule. An example of the light-heartedness is the sequence of acronyms that my father and siblings have decided, by committee, to apply to our immediate family:

My sister: "the B" (the bride)
My father: "the FOB" (father of the bride)
My mother: "the MOB" (mother of the bride)
Me: "the BOOB" (the brother, older, of the bride) (thanks guys)
My brother: "the BYOB" (the brother, younger, of the bride)
My other sister: "the SOB" (sister of the bride)
My sister-in-law: "the SLOB" (the sister, in law, of the bride)

In a less-creative (and far more cruel) vein, I was awakened this morning not by gunfire (as was visited upon me during my brother's wedding), but by Haley hitting me in the side of the head with a quarter. :P I've already warned her that she goes to bed before I do, and I have a Sharpie. My mother has qualified that there is to be no marking before the wedding photos (technically she said "no marking," but I'm pretty sure that had an unspoken footnote). Sunday, though, is a whole new story . . .

Labels: family, linde, western nebraska

Go dad.

Labels: dad, family

. . . left until Linde's wedding (add three for Christmas, for those of you not in my family).

Preparations are moving along. Linde and I finalized the agreement for me to do the photography last night. I'm doing the photography itself for free and providing her with a CD of digital originals that she can take to a photo developer herself (normally photos are ordered directly from the photographer for a fee). In return, she's paying for about 2/3rds of the equipment I'll need to buy. My mother thinks I'll be able to draft one of my aunts into being an assistant (the person who lines everyone up in the hallway for the next picture while I'm taking the current one). I need to order the equipment fairly soon so I have a few months to play with it (somehow I envision opening the packages for the first time the day before the wedding as a bad thing). Linde has picked out a dress and colors and I believe they looked at reception locations yesterday. [Side note to my mother: You still have four months, Deanne. No need to panic yet.] ;)

I talked briefly with Haley today. She's enjoying college (I think the exact phrase was "I *really* like college . . . well, except for the classes"). She arranged her schedule to have Fridays free by doubling up on classes the rest of the week, which shows a scheming not normally seen until the sophomore year. She has a job at one of the new restaurants in town, and she regaled me today with the tale of the $195 tab she delivered to one of her tables this week (something about multiple $9 beers).

I've begun making tentative Halloween party plans. Come hell or high water I'm having a murder mystery party this year, dammit. I just have to come up with enough people . . .

Labels: family

Excerpts from the wedding trip:

- I averaged 43 mpg on the trip by hypermiling.

- The wedding went off without any serious hitches (I think the most pressing issues were the non-dance-friendly nature of the bridesmaids' dresses, two of the three of which broke and/or came undone during the reception, and the near-unfortunateness of planning the reception for 200 people and having 196 show up).

- I was originally supposed to video from a second floor (through a window), but my previous scouting of the spot was done on a day when the air conditioners were *not* running; the proximity to those behemoth noisemakers made the recording location worthless, so I ended up recording from the side of the crowd on the main floor (an inferior viewing angle, but at least you can hear things . . .).

- It was nearly 100 degrees. October weddings, people . . . (I've been told that's "football season," whatever that is.)

- Certain unnamed culprits (of which I was not one) vandalized my brother's house during the reception. I don't have a complete list of insults, but apparently they involved removing all the light bulbs in the house, removing the labels from all the canned goods in the pantry, putting Icy Hot on the toilet seats, putting sugar in the bed, writing on the mirrors with deodorant, rearranging the furniture, toilet-papering the outside of the house and putting all of my brother's and sister-in-law's underwear in plastic bags of water in the freezer. There is some confusion as to why exactly my brother left his house unlocked, but there is no confusion about the fact that my brother quizzed everyone involved and is keeping a list of names for future references (none of the culprits is currently married . . .). He asked me for prank advice. I suggested an inflatable kiddie pool full of Jell-O and random objects from the house in the middle of the living room floor.

- I actually danced. Albeit only with people to whom I'm related, as there were no single unrelated women within 10 years of my age (either way) to be found.

- My mother refused to dance at the reception. So Haley and I requested my parents' wedding song (Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle") from the DJ. You can't really say no to your own wedding song.

- I prepared a 90-slide PowerPoint photo show for the reception (using primarily old photos from physical photo albums that I had to scan and clean up; how quaint). It was well-received. The Shakespeare quotes were less of a hit than the final Ogden Nash quote ("To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong admit it, whenever you're right shut up."). I may try to convert it to a video file later and post it (I'll have to do it eventually if I want to add it to the wedding DVD).

- I spent half an hour trying to fix my mother's EarthLink e-mail account before its user-unfriendly nature irritated me enough that I bought her a domain name (as an added bonus, now I can build my dad a Web site for his company, although he says he has so much work that I have to leave the contact info off . . .).

- Linde joked while setting up the reception hall about cheating to catch the bouquet (her solution was to tie fishing line to it and just pull it into her hands). When the time came to throw it, certain people (again unnamed) were vandalizing my brother's house and were not available, so the toss was put off. I wasn't in the room when it was later tossed, but I'm told Linde caught it fair and square. I'm also told Haley's boyfriend told her to sit down when she joined the group . . .

- I printed about 75 photos from my portfolios and put them in a photo album (not all of my family has the Internet or is familiar with Flickr . . .) and passed it around at the various events. It was generally well-reviewed. Several family members have expressed interest in hiring me to do (or guilting me into doing for free) their photography (senior pictures/wedding photos) in the future. There were several slight pauses from various reviewers, however, due to my inclusion of two pages of photos from my human studies portfolio (I picked photos that don't actually show nudity, but it's clear the models are nude). I took a lot of jokes for them . . .

- I encountered multiple people I had not seen in 10 years or more, including former teachers, friends of my parents and second cousins. It's interesting how some people change and some people stay exactly the same.

Labels: family, jeff, miscellany, photography, shandra

Congratulations to Linde for accepting a teaching position today (7th-9th Math). :) Best wishes in a new field.

Labels: family, linde

My illuminated and adored mother hitched a ride as far as Lincoln with friends on Friday, and after a slight navigational problem (it turns out the exit they set as the rendezvous point doesn't exist on the west-bound side of the Interstate . . .) I spent the weekend enjoying the sights and sounds of Omaha with her. We briefly visited the Taste of Omaha event, saw "Ocean's Thirteen," ate at several restaurants and did a considerable amount of shopping . . . for things we didn't buy due to the constraints of "limited space" in her friends' car. It was interesting to see the mental machinations as she considered putting items in her cart (or later removed them) while calculating available trunk space, the probabilities of purchases at future stores and the likelihood that some items could be purchased closer to home (along with a morass of other factors as complex as multivariable calculus). Most of the garnered trinkets are intended for my brother's impending wedding (table clothes and the like), so much of the shopping had a "party store" direction (I'd never been to Nobbies before).

I took the opportunity presented in being a chaperone in the department stores (a task I honestly don't mind, in my own little Zen way) to snap a few camera phone pictures I found amusing, and we detoured through a nursery so I could buy the missing pieces of my backyard gazebo (which turned out quite nicely). My mother also bought me a fire pit for my back patio (which is quite pretty, although as I discovered the "copper" designation on the box is used rather loosely to designate a color of enamel rather than a metal), a device I quickly used to fill my kitchen full of wood smoke when the wind carried the smoke past the window fan in my breakfast nook (note to self: buy splitting device to break wood up into smaller pieces before burning). She balked on buying me a hot tub or a dSLR camera, though . . .

The visit was good (and the weather was excellent for it). I drove her back to the meeting point in Lincoln (arriving exactly two minutes before the appointed time), and they returned home safely six hours later. My mother left me money to buy a pair of patio chairs to go around the fire pit and I found a pair I liked at Target last night (which I soon discovered did not fit in my car; Cris to the rescue with his Jeep while I sat in the parking lot!). I've been instructed to take a picture of the chairs and fire pit and mail it to my mom so she can wrap it up in a box for Christmas (a system I find vastly superior to attempting to fit presents Tetris-style into my backseat in December). :)

Labels: family

My baby sister and her boyfriend visited over the weekend. Commentary to come later. For now, pictures must suffice.

Labels: family, haley

A microcosm of life, glimpsed, fleetingly, through my eyes:

- Haley's graduation went off without a hitch. Everyone was civil and most were even jovial. Haley, unable to escape the salutatorian position of her class (rumor has it she tried and failed), delivered a nice speech on looking to the past and future. The valedictorian of her class also gave a nice speech, although I'm not sure one should quote Napoleon as an inspirational figure.

- The reception was well-attended, albeit mostly by people I didn't know. I occupied an interesting limbo between the peers of my parents (most of whom had grown children) and the peers of my sister (who are barely on the cusp of adulthood and considered me "old"), and thus I lapsed into repeating the phrase "I'm doing well, thanks, how are you?" while standing in the corner with my camera. I understand Haley's haul was substantial, much to her delight.

- I brought my GameCube on a whim. I expected to play with Haley. I ended up playing with all of my siblings and, for a short time, my father, who in my younger years was an anti-video game zealot (my siblings and I were not allowed to play arcade games or own video game consoles). The shock of such a contrast caught me off guard, while Cris suggested it perhaps means my father is looking forward to spoiling grandkids. Although not as shocking, my brother proved to be something of a videogame prodigy, assuming a position as a serious contender within a few games. I suggested he give up coyote hunting for MarioKart racing, a suggestion met with amused disdain.

- I was awakened at 9 a.m. on Saturday morning by repetitive hammering, which I learned came from my father's and brother's attempt to finish installing my mom's new siding before Haley's reception. I was again awakened at 9 a.m. on Sunday morning by a repetitive sound, this time the aural side effects of a congregation of my father's and brother's friends shooting at the refrigerator south of my parents' house (a refrigerator obtained for just such a purpose). I placed a cell phone call from my borrowed bed to my parents' number, where I asked to register a noise complaint with the front desk and suggested a poor rating on hotels.com. To appease me they offered monkeybread.

- I provided tech support to two computers and gave Linde one of my spare monitors, and attempted to provide support to my father's home theater woes, although I'm not sure how useful I was in that regard.

The trip was brief but good. I think I gained a few pounds. Damn crescent rolls. :)

Labels: family

To my esteemed and adored mother. Thank you for everything you have worked so hard to provide to your children. ;)

Labels: birthdays, family

I'm back from the outlands after an eventful weekend. A longer post will follow, but because I know my mother is anxiously awaiting these, I present the photographic record and the video compilation of my baby sister's high school graduation. Congrats, Haley. :)

Labels: family, haley

Linde is beat up and understandably upset, but doing well. I'm sure she'd appreciate hearing from people.

Graphic photos warning.

Photos taken right after she was discharged (showing the results of the airbags).

Labels: family, linde

The recent 60- and 70-degree weather in Omaha has apparently left me oblivious to the fact that my place of origin has been experiencing ice, snow and tornadoes for the last few weeks. I learned of it today when Linde e-mailed me to say she'd slid off the road into a guard rail and had just been discharged from the emergency room. I got her voicemail when I called, but I called around and finally found my father, who was preparing to run a spare vehicle up to her. He confirmed she's fine; she has some burns on her face and stomach from the airbags and a cut from the seatbelt and an assortment of bruises, but nothing more serious than that. The vehicle lost its windshield and deployed both airbags, but apparently its repairable. She's already out and back to work, shook up but okay (which is the only really important factor).

My dad said he passed two multiple car (or in this case semi-truck) pileups on his way home from Wyoming yesterday, one of which left them stranded on the Interstate for about 2 hours. And apparently they had a half-mile wide tornado a few days ago. Wow.

Labels: family, linde

Thanks to Canon's new "FutureShot" technology, I can now download and view pictures I'm going to take in the future. Take this shot of my brother from the year 2023, for example.

I haven't had the heart to tell him about the picture I took in 2029 of the constitutional amendment that banned hunting yet.

Labels: amusement, family, jeff

'Cause, you know, it's only Thursday . . .

The state wrestling tournament photos are up here.

Ditto for the SAC Museum expedition.

Miscellaneous highlights:

- While on our way to see Ghost Rider, we were stopped at a stop light by a guy who motioned for my brother to roll down his window, then proceeded to try to give him a home theater system. "I have a home theater system I don't want. It's yours if you want it. Just give me your address and I'll deliver it." All sorts of warning bells went off there. Who stops someone in traffic and asks for their home address?

- My brother had never seen a 24-screen movie theater before (the closest one to the dear old homestead has two screens). He was of the opinion that's too many. He'd also never had to use a parking meter before. He learned all sorts of new things while he was here.

- I took them to Zio's for lunch one day. My dad doesn't compliment restaurants very often, but he agreed it was the best pizza he'd had in awhile. He was also tickled that they carried a kind of beer he had in Mexico once that he usually can't find in the U.S.

- We shared a waiting room at Applebee's with a very publicly affectionate lesbian couple dressed about three "degrees" nicer than we were. I thought they were cute. My brother was very confused. I imagine there was some internal conflict between his impulse to watch them (how often does he see women kissing?), his impulse to be disapproving due to his religious beliefs and the intimidation factor inherent in the fact that they were likely a tax bracket above us (darn scary independent women anyway). I was tempted to say "Yup, Jeff, those are lesbians. We have those here." but I was polite and we talked about why he has to shave before he goes on fire calls so the breather mask will seal against his face.

- I got Dippin' Dots at the Qwest Center. Yay!

- The SAC Museum was interesting, although it's not a "go back every year" thing like the zoo. The Blackbird in the entry was very cool, but that was the newest plane they had (I was hoping to see a Raptor). I think my dad enjoyed it the most.

- I tried to teach my brother to use chopsticks, but he declined. Then he went back to the Chinese buffet and came back with Jell-O.

- My brother was annoyed that he couldn't find Fox News on my tv. He seemed less than impressed when I told him I'd edited it out of my channel listing years ago. So he watched the Weather Channel instead. According to my dad, that's his secret favorite channel. Like, he'll just sit and watch the Weather Channel.

- Everyone got along well and it was a good visit. :)

Labels: family

The heavy dregs of sleep are pulling down the curtain of consciousness as I write this, insisting I concede to their somnolent stipulations. But before I crash, a brief update in penance for a lack of recent posts.

My dad and brother arrived on Wednesday evening, fresh from the 35-below-zero snowfields of Wyoming, for a brief respite. They spent Thursday at the Qwest Center watching the state wrestling tournament, at the newly opened Cabela's and at various hardware stores buying the parts (including the main stall itself) to install a shower in my brother's house. I snuck out of work early to have Chinese with them.

Friday we all woke at 6 a.m. (ouch) to attend the second round of the state wrestling tournament, where unfortunately our brave and valiant hometown wrestlers were eliminated to the man, but on the upside one of my aunts bought me Dippin' Dots. The afternoon was spent at the SAC museum to fulfill a promise I made to my dad years ago. The evening was spent watching Ghost Rider (not the strongest comic book movie Marvel has released . . .).

Today (Saturday) we did upgrades to my house, primarily involving electricity. We put in some new grounded outlets and, more importantly, split up a circuit that for some odd reason the previous tenant had vastly overtaxed (as of this morning, it handled all of the lights and outlets in my kitchen, all of my computer equipment and during the summer a window air conditioner). The air conditioner outlet gets its own circuit now, and my computer equipment is moving to a grounded outlet on the other wall. They departed in the early afternoon, taking with them the dresser from my bedroom that, as I understand it, has been in my possession for the last eight years despite being Linde's; whether it came to me originally as an oversight or as a planned loan I don't remember. I do know that the few items of clothing I use out of it are now in a cardboard box in my bedroom, which is incredibly stylish. As soon as it warms up I'll assemble all the new furniture that's stacked in a corner of my basement, but for now I have a big empty wall.

After they left I spent the remainder of the afternoon cleaning up the plaster dust, wire pieces and insulation from the renovations, and then installed all four of the ceiling fixtures I requested for Christmas. As soon as I install the fixture in the spare bedroom (I forgot it was in a closet or I'd have done it today with the others), the entire ground floor will have new fixtures.

And now I'm off to bed. Hope everyone is well. :)

Labels: family

It's uncharacteristically busy for me. The -3 weather and snow shoveling aside, my dad and my brother are arriving today for a short visit (officially to watch my cousin Cabe at the state wrestling tournament, but nominally to work on the wiring in my house, as well). This is the first time they've visited since they helped me move into my house and repaired my garage, so I imagine my house will look somewhat different.

In other family news, congratulations to Haley for winning a full-tuition scholarship. I know she's pretty tickled (and my parents moreso, in all likelihood).

Labels: family, holiday

To the Admiral, who is most likely working out of town and won't receive my card for awhile.

Labels: birthdays, family

To the Redneck Ninja(tm), who turns 24 today. :)

Labels: family, jeff

I finally finished editing and uploading the remaining pictures from my Christmas trip. Of note, I had my dad commissioned as an honorary admiral by the governor's office for his birthday.

I also compiled a video of the twins from last weekend. (If you have a high-speed connection and feel like waiting, you can download the higher-res version, but be warned it's 30mb.) If you watch all the way to the end you get to see Kyle's happy dance.

Labels: family, holiday, twins

I think my brother needs one of these. ;)

Labels: family

To my immediate ancestors, who celebrate their 31st today. Hope it's a good one, mom and dad. :)

Labels: family

I'm back from Christmas, and it went much better than I had anticipated (assorted kinks, of course, but all in all pleasant). I have more pictures to touch up and post (and a longer entry to write), but I wanted to get the first batch out so my mom can snag them for prints.

I hope everyone else had a good one as well. :)

Labels: family, holiday, photography

My mom called today to advise that my hometown has a foot of snow and counting and the Interstates in all directions are shut down (leaving my dad and brother holed up in Wyoming). My mom and Haley were even without power for about 8 hours (leading Haley to declare that she'd never have made it as a pioneer; apparently playing cards by candlelight didn't really thrill her). Omaha is wet but not cold (yet), so we'll see what the situation looks like over the next two days. I really don't feel like driving six hours on ice. :(

Labels: family

Although hardly a revelation to certain people, I've been out of sorts lately. I don't think "combative" is the right term, but perhaps the shoe labelled "less understanding" would fit; I've been told what I call an "argument" is to most people a "squabble," but the fact remains that I've been in three of them lately, a bellwether of my recent petulance. To put it in better context, one of them was with Lisa. Lisa, the person with whom I have not seriously argued in 8 years. Over, of all things, a newspaper article of no importance to either of us. Said arguments have not been an active pursuit on my part, but rather an uncharacteristic unwillingness to be sympathetic when challenged (and all other abandoned traits aside, I certainly inherited the stubbornness that characterizes so many of my family). In any case, I've apologized in person and offered recognition of my childishness, and submit this as a public apology to anyone else with whom I've been short.

My mood didn't go unpredicted. I can't go so far as to lay claim to phrases like "I hate Christmas" or "holidays suck," but those of the inner circle are well-aware that this is not my favorite time of the year. Lisa expects the malaise like clockwork, although it has seemed in recent years to be cumulative rather than episodic, something I admit concerns me. Christmas lost any religious significance to me a decade ago, and quite honestly that aspect doesn't even register with me except when chastised for using "holidays" instead of "Christmas" (as has been done once this week), so I'll admit up front I don't have any serious attachment to these holidays. But on top of that, I think there is a handful of ingredients that bake up into the Fruitcake of Despondency(tm).

The first ingredient requires a mild disclaimer. If you feel the holiday spirit, I'm happy for you. :) This isn't meant to bring you down and don't take it as criticism. I hope to be there someday. For the time being, though, I find myself increasingly annoyed at the commercialization that seems to paradoxically bring out the worst in people in what is supposed to be the brightest season. Irritability and short tempers draped on shoppers looking for $600 gaming systems for 10-year-olds who equate Christmas with "I want it and if I don't get it I'm going to pout." For that matter, the whole idea that a 10-year-old needs a $600 gaming system more than he needs a $200 gaming system and $400 to give to a coat drive for underprivileged children. The perception that asking someone exactly what they want, going out and buying it and giving it to them somehow shows thoughtfulness, when in reality it's merely the fastest way to comply with a social expectation. The universal condemnation of anyone who points out that a great many people treat Christmas shopping as an unpleasant chore rather than a free act of love. (Cris and I had it out over this topic last week; I concede I may tilt toward "grinch" due to my mood, but really, I can't help but see the web of obligation and commercial pressure that underlies what should be a celebration of sharing and togetherness. In all seriousness, I'd be thrilled if my Christmas consisted of a peaceful dinner and an exchange of cards showing which charities we donated to in each other's names.)

The second major stressor for me is the fact that, though I dearly love my family, I am woefully unprepared to spend time with them en masse, a consequence of being out of sync with them (case in point, I'm used as the "it could be worse" example when someone is disapproving of someone else in the family; e.g., "Well, it could be worse. At least he's not an atheist/liberal/pavement head* like Jay."). There is a, shall we say, tendency toward displaying affection through criticism, amplified by the pack mentality, that is incompatible with me. I make an effort not to be overtly displeased about it, and in fact usually graciously decline to participate rather than take the bait, out of deference to family peace, but it's emotionally taxing nonetheless.

The final stressor, familiar to anyone single through the holidays, has its own shelf in the "self-help" section of the bookstore. I suppose (and in fact hope) that a few more attachments around this time of the year will eventually change my mood about it. Although I'm still not buying my kids a $600 gaming system.

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*"Pavement head," for those curious, is my brother's term of faux affection, a not-so-subtle reference to the fact that I have defected from my agrarian heritage to the great land of street lights and parking lots. It's usually accompanied with something of a chortle.

Labels: family, friends, holiday, humanity, introspection, me, social commentary

Happy anniversary to my grandparents, who celebrate 60 years of wedded bliss today. I'm pretty sure they're unfamiliar with the concept of a "Web log," but I'll refrain from any sort of snarky comments anyway and just wish them many more. ;)

Labels: anniversary, family, grandparents

I hope everyone has a fabulous one. Safe driving and mashed potatoes all around, really.

In the spirit of family togetherness, I thought I'd post a snippet of a telephone conversation I had earlier this week with my grandmother. I'm sure Linde will love this one.

Her: Hello?
Me: Hi, grandma. It's your favorite grandson.
Her: Oh, Levi, it's good to hear from you!
Me: Um, no, the other one.
*pause*
Me: Jay.
Her: Oh, Jay, it's good to hear from you!

In her defense, I was on my Bluetooth headset, and it's a little echo-y. But I still found it amusing.

Labels: family, holiday

Jeff,

I write this with a confidence in your enthusiastic embrace of your imminent wedding, and hope that my suggestions find purchase within your planning. Although I know that recent weddings in the vicinity of our familial homestead have included such colorful curiosities as the bride arriving to the wedding on a duck boat* and the happily wedded couple leaving the proceedings on a tractor*, I do hope that you proceed with a certain degree of restraint and perhaps avoid certain choices that may be a source of mordant, if affectionate, ridicule in future reviews of our mother's photo albums.

Yours truly,

-Jay


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*Yes, these really happened in my hometown.

Labels: amusement, family

The humor in this possibly may be obscure, but upon encountering it I actually laughed out loud (not the fake "*lol*" that permeates online chat, even when the person typing it has an expressionless face, but real, verbal chuckling that prompted a furtive glance out my office door to see if I was, by chance, being frowned at by disapproving coworkers). I can picture a conversation of this sort (with a suitable substitute for the Sony topic) occurring between me and any of a number of my family members, illuminating in stark words a difference in humor styles. I say this not in criticism, but in observation; I imagine I am uniquely suited in my family to use the word "acquiesce" in any form of joking, antagonistic or otherwise.

Labels: amusement, family, pretention