Creative Uses of the Waffle Iron!

Waffle irons are unique kitchen appliances, dedicated to providing corrugated breakfast fare to the masses, but it's a little known secret that they have alternate uses.  Passed down through the I Ching of ancient China, these secretive and potent waffle iron techniques are only now becoming known in the Western world.  Behold, grasshopper, the secret of the Chocolate Waffle Cookie!

My mother (from whom I've learned many of my recipes, including this one) calls these cookies "Turtles," based on their shape.  They have a unique texture that seems almost like a brownie bite with a hard outer shell.  As with most of the desserts I've chronicled, the main ingredients are flour, sugar and butter.

First up is a rather large quantity of cocoa.  Flour-like in its consistency, cocoa will disperse across the counter when put under pressure the same way flour does.

Yay for damp paper towels.

Continue adding ingredients, including the sugar, flour and vanilla.  Balance a digital camera in your right hand as you crack and add the eggs.  Then pick out the shell pieces that fell into the dough.   Relax in the knowledge that any coworker who reads this before eating one of the cookies will assume it's a joke.

(I don't know about your microwave, but mine beeps at me every 30 seconds to remind me that I microwaved something that I haven't retrieved.  It would be much less annoying if it just coughed gently or something.)

Do not stick your fingers in the mixer.  Unlike Elmer Fudd, your hand will not turn red and grow to the size of your chest for a few seconds and then return to normal.   Instead, you'll be afforded a first-hand opportunity to learn about all the different bones in the human hand, from a real doctor.

. . . the brownie-like dough collects inside the mixers.

But that's okay, because picking dough out of mixers is a very soothing, rewarding experience.  It's akin to meditation, only without the cool foam mats.

In the interim, run to your computer to explain to all of the people who have messaged you why you're "ignoring" them.

Step 5:  Scoop the dough out of the bowl in tablespoons and drop onto the waffle iron.  I usually have to use a fork to get the dough out of the tablespoon.

Despite the temptation to drop it right in the middle, as we do with waffles, you would do well, grasshopper, to drop it in the center of one of the four quadrants (depending upon how your waffle iron is arranged).   The long lines (which create the creases along which waffles tear) tend to make the cookies break apart.

Here we have four pre-cookies, awaiting the searing heat that will form and mold them into their final form, transforming them into their true essence (at least until they're eaten).

If they turn black, you've baked them too long.

Remove them from the iron with a fork and place them on a cooling rack.

Here we have an array of miniature chocolate waffles, beckoning with their ridged seduction.

Oh, and in case you have the same brainstorm I did, adding cocoa to a regular waffle mix and trying to make chocolate waffles that way doesn't work.  Bleh.

And that's it.  This is actually a pretty quick and simple recipe.  The resulting cookies are bite-sized, and their unique shape usually ensures at least one "Wow, what are those?" comment.  Of course, you can always make the cookies twice as big, if you'd like, or even make entire waffle-sized cookies, but you'll have to double the recipe for that and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't qualify as a breakfast food.

But to be sure you'd have to consult the I Ching.

Enjoy.