| Step 1: Assemble the ingredients. If you're
like me, you wait until 2 a.m. and then realize you're out of cinnamon red-hot
candies. Put your coat on and drive to Walgreens. Wander around Walgreens for
10 minutes before breaking down and asking where the red-hot candies are. Listen in
amazement as the night supervisor says they don't make them anymore . . . (Yeah,
right.) Get back in your car and drive to a 24-hour grocery store. Buy a
single package of red-hot candies and one package of Hershey's York Peppermint Patties Swoops
(chocolate in the shape of Pringles chips?) just because they look quirky.
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Step 2: Return home and really assemble the
ingredients.
1 c. butter, softened
1 c. sugar
1/2 c. molasses
1 tsp. each ground cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and cloves
2 eggs, beaten |
1 tsp. vinegar
5 c. flour
1 tsp. baking soda
red-hot candies
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Here we have the ingredients assembled in striking symmetry. |
| If the ingredients actually start talking to you,
time to find a different hobby . . . |
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You will also need some cookie cutters. Gingerbread
men are traditional, but I also make snowmen and Christmas trees. Occasionally I
make just simple round ones, too, but I stayed true to the holiday spirit this go-around. |
| Step 3: Combine the butter and sugar in a
saucepan. I keep commenting on this, but it's worth mentioning again.
Americans wonder why we're overweight and out of shape? Look at this pan, people! |
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Step 4: Add the molasses. The recipe I use
actually calls for dark corn syrup, but the recipe I used years ago used molasses and I
really think the molasses makes a better cookie, so I modified it. |
Molasses is neat stuff. It's viscous
and will actually exceed the top of the measuring cup due to its surface tension.
It's like edible sludge. Although I don't recommend eating it straight. Ick. |
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Step 5: Add the spices. I tried to make some
sort of cool swirly pattern but the spices didn't cooperate, so you get this disgusting
mass instead. |
| In case you couldn't see all the appetizing details in the
previous picture . . . |
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Step 6: Apply heat and bring to a boil. |
| While waiting for the components to break down, stir the
pan once in awhile. The butter tends to melt last, and stirring it leaves little
"comet trails" on the surface. If you're bored, give it a good stir and
then look for constellations and pictures in the bits of butter that float back to the
top. Here we have a footprint for a three-toed dinosaur, or maybe a gorilla with
spiky hair. |
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Mmmmm, bubbling sugar-butter mixture . . . |
| This stuff is actually pretty cool when it boils. It
has a kind of viscous morphing surface that catches the light. It's almost hypnotic
to watch. After watching it for a few minutes, remove it from heat. Let it cool to
lukewarm (this is very important; more on that later). |
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Step 7: Beat the eggs. Even if you like
them. Here I demonstrate cracking and dumping an egg with one hand (which is kind of
necessary if you're taking a picture with your other hand). |
| One bowl of sufficiently liquefied eggs. |
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[Intermission] I bought new spatulas
at Linens 'N Things over the
weekend.
Look how cool they are!
[End intermission] |
| Step 8: Combine the flour and baking soda in a large
bowl. |
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Step 9: Check to make sure the liquid part has
cooled to lukewarm. It usually takes 10 or 15 minutes. |
| Step 10: Add the eggs and vinegar. This is
where the "let it cool to lukewarm" part becomes important. Adding the
eggs before the liquid has cooled causes big problems. Trust me on this one.
I once spent five minutes trying to pick the cooked scrambled eggs out of the butter-sugar
mixture before dumping the whole batch and starting over. Scrambled eggs floating in
melted butter and sugar is not appetizing. I have
no idea what the vinegar does. The recipe calls for it, so I add it. |
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Look, it's a nebula! Or maybe an infant spiral
galaxy. |
| Step 11: Pour the liquid mixture into the bowl of
flour . . . |
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. . . and stir. A lot. Then knead it a
bit. It takes awhile to get the two parts to get along. |
| Voila! Gingerbread dough! |
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Which makes a great punching bag! Seriously, cooking
is a good stress-reliever. |
Step 12: The recipe says to chill it for several hours. I'm not sure
why. I've made it without chilling it and the cookies turn out fine, but anymore I
just wrap it in plastic wrap and pop it in the freezer for about 10 minutes. |
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Step 13: Lightly flour a surface and roll the dough
out to about 1/4 inch. I break the dough up into chunks first because it's a lot
of dough. Cut out shapes with a cookie cutter. |
| Step 14: Carefully transfer the cutouts to a greased
cookie sheet. Use the cinnamon red-hots to decorate. Bake at 350 degrees for
8-10 minutes. |
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Collect the remnants from the battlefield and remerge. |
| Step 15: Carefully remove to a wire rack to cool. |
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I make an assortment of cookies. Gingerbread men
always prove to be the favorite (people have some sort of attachment to gingerbread men;
one woman in my office left her cookie on her desk for 8 hours because it was "too
cute to eat"). Here I've cut out some gingerbread men and Christmas trees. Note:
Gingerbread men are not as structurally sound as snowmen and trees. Like a
newborn baby, you have to be careful about their heads and necks. If they're stuck
to the counter or cookie sheet at all and you lift wrong, you can decapitate one without
really trying. I usually ruin one or two each batch before I remember that. |
| Here we have them cooling. Note the nifty little
buttons and eyes (and the "ornaments" on the Christmas trees). |
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Share with all of your friends and family. :) |
